Non-attachment

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What It Looks Like
I’d never really understood the idea of non-attachment. Of course, I’d not done any research on non-attachment or asked questions of someone who would know. I just assumed I knew what it meant and assumed I would never be capable.

While I was reading What It Looks Like by Marta Maranda, I came upon a few paragraphs about non-attachment that cleared my confusion.

Here’s what the author said,

…non-attachment doesn’t mean we should never have people or things in our lives. It is the “exaggerated seeking and clinging” that creates suffering. Most of our mental and physical energy is obsessively devoted to the object we desire. If we don’t have it, we will either do anything to get it or endlessly mourn its absence. If we have it, we live in constant fear of losing it.

Expectations play a large part in attachment. What we cling to is less about having possessions, relationships, and identities than about what we expect them to provide for us. And we expect all that we acquire to make us feel loved, appreciated, or important. It is the dysfunctional perception that is at the root of all attachment. “Whether it is an object or a person, we give it meanings and values that do not exist.

Non-attachment is not detachment. Detachment is a dysfunctional defense mechanism and pain management system that results in mental, emotional, or physical isolation. However, detachment doesn’t just block pain from one’s life, it blocks the flow of all energy, and eliminates any chance of healthy interaction with the people and circumstances that are essential to heal dysfunction. Rather, non-attachment is an act of compassion and healing. There is no conscious manipulation of choices and consequences out of fear. When we relinquish control and release our grasp, energy flows, allowing our lives to grow, change, and heal through all that comes and goes. (p. 333)

About Blaize Sun

My name is Blaize Sun. Maybe that's the name my family gave me; maybe it's not. In any case, that's the name I'm using here and now. I've been a rubber tramp for nearly a decade.I like to see places I've never seen before, and I like to visit the places I love again and again. For most of my years on the road, my primary residence was my van. For almost half of the time I was a van dweller, I was going it alone. Now my (male) partner and I (a woman) have a travel trailer we can pull with our truck. We have a little piece of property, and when we're not traveling, we park our little camper there. I was a work camper in a remote National Forest recreation area on a mountain for four seasons. I was a camp host and parking lot attendant for two seasons and wrote a book about my experiences called Confessions of a Work Camper: Tales from the Woods. During the last two seasons as a work camper on that mountain, I was a clerk in a campground store. I'm also a house and pet sitter, and I pick up odd jobs when I can. I'm primarily a writer, but I also create beautiful little collages; hand make hemp jewelry and warm, colorful winter hats; and use my creative and artistic skills to decorate my life and brighten the lives of others. My goal (for my writing and my life) is to be real. I don't like fake, and I don't want to share fake. I want to share my authentic thoughts and feelings. I want to give others space and permission to share their authentic selves. Sometimes I think the best way to support others is to leave them alone and allow them to be. I am more than just a rubber tramp artist. I'm fat. I'm funny. I'm flawed. I try to be kind. I'm often grouchy. I am awed by the stars in the dark desert night. I hope my writing moves people. If my writing makes someone laugh or cry or feel angry or happy or troubled or comforted, I have done my job. If my writing makes someone think and question and try a little harder, I've done my job. If my writing opens a door for someone, changes a life, I have done my job well. I hope you enjoy my blog posts, my word and pictures, the work I've done to express myself in a way others will understand. I hope you appreciate the time and energy I put into each post. I hope you will click the like button each time you like what you have read. I hope you will share posts with the people in your life. I hope you'll leave a comment and share your authentic self with me and this blog's other readers. Thank you for reading.  A writer without readers is very sad indeed.

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