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Hum

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I’d been at Ivy and Jay’s place for a few days. Because of my head cold, I’d skipped Ivy’s birthday camping trip with her partner Jay and Ivy’s parents (who I hadn’t know would be visiting during the same time I’d be there). They’d come back the day before, and Ivy’s sweet parents had headed home to Arizona.

The first couple of nights of my visit, I’d slept in the room of a housemate who’d been away working. He’d returned, so I moved my large backpack into a common room with a sofa where I’d spend my remaining nights. The backpack was off to the side, out of the main flow of traffic, but in no way hidden.

I was in another room having an animated conversation with one of the housemates when Jay appeared in the doorway.

Uh, can you come here for a minute? he asked me.

We’re in the middle of a conversation, I told him. I’ll meet up with you in a little while.

It’s important, he said. There’s a weird noise coming out of your backpack.

I’m sure I furrowed my brow as I wondered what kind of noise could be coming from my backpack.

As soon as I walked into the common room, I heard a muffled but steady hum. Sure enough, it was coming from the depths of my backpack. I knew immediately what was making the noise.

That’s my vibrator, I stage whispered to Jay. He and I were pretty good friends by then, so I was only mildly embarrassed.

[amazon template=image&asin=B00C04Q7DI]I dug through my pack and I pulled out the humming Water Dancer (a waterproof version of the Pocket Rocket). I turned it off and pulled out the battery before I put it away.

The great mystery (unsolved to this day) was how the switch was clicked on. The vibrator had not been humming when I deposited the pack in the room. I don’t think anyone in the house had been riffling through my belongings and bumped the vibrator. Was there a randy ghost in the room? The world may never know.