I was at the laundromat on the north side of town.

I had actually finished doing my laundry. All of my clothes were clean, dry, folded, and back in the van. However, I had internet access at the laundromat, and I was waiting to see how an auction on Ebay would turn out. I was toggling between checking the status of the auction and playing solitaire.

A man I’d never seen before came into the laundromat. He was tall and a little chunky and had dark hair. He looked like a white guy to me. I didn’t find him particularly attractive. I wasn’t paying that much attention to him at first, although he was putting clothes into the washer nearest to where I was sitting. Then I noticed he was clearing his throat loudly and repeatedly. Either he had a nervous tic or something was stuck way down in his throat.

Once his clothes were in the washer, he walked toward me. He asked if I were bored a lot. I don’t know if he saw I was playing solitaire and assumed I was bored or if that was just his opening line. I said, “Oh no!” Then I told him just how busy I am, how I never have time to get bored. At that moment, my good-Southern-lady upbringing kicked in, and I asked, “How about you?”

Why did I do that? I did not care if he was often bored. I was not interested in conversing with him. I wanted to be on my way in six minutes, as soon as I knew the outcome of my auction. Yet, I engaged him in conversation. I guess that makes it my fault.

He told me that yes, indeed he was bored a lot. He said he’d just moved to town and didn’t have (m)any friends, so he often didn’t have anything to do.

Next he gestured at the empty chair next to me and asked if he could sit there. It was not the only empty chair in the laundromat, but since I am not the Queen of Chairs, what could I say? It was not my chair to withhold, so I said yes.

He sat down next to me and I SWEAR TO GOD (or any other deity of your choice), he said to me, “Do you come here often?”

I have to give him credit for using a pick up line that no one else had ever used on me.

My brain was on duty that day, because I shot right back to him, “Only when my clothes are dirty.”

It was one of my finest moments. It was one of my best comebacks ever. I was so proud of myself.

He was not deterred, however, because in mere moments he asked for my phone number, asked if he could call me some time.

Again, I was thinking quick because I said, “Um, no. I’m just not looking for any of that.”

By that time the auction had ended, and my computer was shutting down. I snapped my laptop shut, and ducked out the door, hoping he wouldn’t see what vehicle I hopped into as I made my escape.