Monthly Archives: April 2015

One Step Closer

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On Monday I received a welcome packet from the company I’m hoping to work for this summer as a camp host.

That’s a step in the right direction.

The welcome packet includes a lot of information about workers’ compensation rights so I’ll know what to do if I get hurt on the job. (I beseech the Universe to keep me safe and not to let me get hurt on the job. Angel friends, please protect me and keep me from getting hurt on the job. I will pay attention to what I’m doing and be careful, because getting hurt on the job could really wreck my plans.)

There’s also a W-4 to fill out, as well as a uniform order form on which I have to ‘fess up the measurements of my neck, sleeve length, hips, chest, waist, and inseam length. (I’ll just say here that I am NOT looking forward to wearing a uniform for this job. The uniform will be a shirt–probably short sleeve and probably with a collar–and pants, both probably hot nasty polyester and ill-fitting.) There’s also a release authorization in the packet. By signing it, I am apparently authorizing release of my information for a background check. (I’m pretty sure I’ve already signed and returned one of these.) Then there’s a “Notice/Disclosure of Intent to Obtain Consumer Report and/or Investigative Consumer Report.”

I suppose if they don’t like my credit report (and my credit report is not a pretty thing), they could still decide not to hire me. I just hope that if they decide not to hire me, they make that decision before I travel to BFE California. (Does anyone not know that “BFE” means “Bum Fuck Egypt”?)

I have started announcing to people that I plan to work in California this summer. I was trying to wait until I knew definitively, positively, for sure, but I decided this welcome packet was a good enough sign to start making announcements. If it ends up not working out, I’ll just tell people the job fell through at the last minute, which will be the truth.

Trifle

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tri·fle
ˈtrīfəl/
noun
British

a cold dessert of sponge cake and fruit covered with layers of custard, jelly, and cream

The Lady of the House came home from the thrift store with a large glass bowl attached to a glass pedestal. She was very excited about it and said it was a trifle bowl.

I had heard of trifle before. I’d probably first encountered it in books set in the 1940s and/or 1950s. More recently, I’d seen trifle on Food Network’s competition show Chopped. (I really like Chopped. I can watch one episode after another for hours.) On a special celebrity episode of Chopped, I saw a woman (either Carnie Wilson or Gillian Vigman, I can’t remember which) make a trifle in honor of her mother who made them a lot when she (the celebrity) was a kid.

I’d never eaten trifle though.

The Lady of the House had eaten trifle made by her husband’s aunt. The aunt makes them whenever her household hosts a family gathering. The Lady started talking of a dessert made with layers of chocolate cake and chocolate pudding and Cool Whip and Heath bar. I was in!

The Lady had recently bought Girl Scout Cookies from Girl Scouts selling in front of a grocery store. Instead of Heath bar, I suggested, what about crushed up Thin Mints? Everybody in the house was excited by that idea.

The trifle bowl stayed empty for several weeks while life kept The Lady busy.

One Sunday morning, The Lady gave The Boy the choice of baking a chocolate cake or helping with yard work. He chose baking the chocolate cake, and the preparation of the trifle was begun. (I got to help with yard work.)

After preparing the chocolate cake from a mix and getting the batter into the oven, The Boy also whipped up a big bowl of chocolate pudding. When we got in from the yard, the cake was cooling, and the pudding was chilling in the fridge. After a few hours, the layering was ready to begin.

First, cake was crumbled into the bottom of the trifle bowl. Next, chocolate pudding was layered on top of the cake. Then Cool Whip was spread on top of the pudding.

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Finally, crushed Thin Mints Girl Scout cookies were sprinkled on top of the Cool Whip.

 

IMG_2375  Another layer of cake was added, then another layer of pudding.

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After all the layers were added, the trifle was covered in cling wrap and left to chill in the refrigerator. The trifle becomes tastier as it gets colder and as the  the flavors meld together. It’s better to let the trifle sit in the refrigerator at least overnight, but that requires extreme willpower.

 

IMG_2383     Here’s the final product.

The trifle was absolutely delicious. Because the cake basically absorbs the pudding, the dessert is very moist. (If your cake ever comes out of the oven too dry, you can save the dessert by using the cake in a trifle.) The Thin Mints gave the trifle very subtle minty undertones, not at all overwhelming. The cookies too became very moist and didn’t offer any crunch. That was good for my tooth problems, but folks who really want a crunch would do better with Heath bars or some other candy that won’t soften. I personally would have liked a little more Cool Whip (I am a huge whipped cream fan), so if I were going to make a trifle, I’d use two tubs of Cool Whip or a couple (three?) cans of real whipped cream.

The trifle was one of the best desserts ever!

I took all the photos in this post.

Thank You , Dr. Jay

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Warning: If you don’t like needles, you may not want to read this post.

I’d had a tooth pulled a little over three years ago. The tooth wasn’t totally numb when the dentist started yanking on it, and it hurt. The dentist had to stop the procedure and numb the area further before continuing.

The way I remember it, there was a lot of tugging on the tooth, and I was fighting my body to keep it in the chair. My brain was telling me that what was happening in my mouth was UNNATURAL, and I should put a stop to it. Even once my mouth was adequately numb, my brain wouldn’t shut up about the unnaturalness of what the dentist was doing.

For the current extraction, I wanted my brain to be calm, so I took an Ativan. Actually, I took half an Ativan before I went to sleep the night before the procedure and the second half right before I went into dental exam room #2.

I’ll tell you what…I slept like a log the night before the extraction. The Ativan sent me off into the land of deepest sleep. I had to get up in the night for my usual trip to the toilet, but I barely felt awake. When I woke up the morning, I was in no hurry to get out of bed.

After breakfast, while I was brushing my teeth, the crown popped off my tooth for the last time. I put it back on my tooth, but didn’t use any adhesive. I figured I’d pop it off right before the extraction.

The Lady of the House drove me to the appointment because we all knew I shouldn’t be driving on Ativan. I didn’t feel much different than normal, just maybe a little slower and a little sleepier.

We arrived at Dr. Jay’s office about twenty minutes before my appointment. The doctor herself gave me a stack of paperwork to complete and accepted my payment. After filling in all of the blanks, I ducked into the restroom to pop off my crown and pop the remaining half of Ativan down my throat.

I sat down in the chair in exam room #2. I hadn’t been there long before the nurse led me into the hall for an x-ray. After the x-ray, she put a cotton swab with numbing gel against my gum. After a while, a male dentist (my dentist’s husband, I found out later, so his name is also Dr. Jay) came in to give me the numbing shots. Mr. Dr. Jay told me to open my mouth and close my eyes, and I did. He started giving me shots, and it hurt, but I kept my displays of discomfort to low moans.

They left me alone in the exam room for a while. A couple time I was asked if I was feeling numb. I said I was, but I was afraid I wasn’t numb enough. I wanted to be sure I’d feel no pain when the procedure started.

Mrs. Dr. Jay came into the room and said the procedure might be a little difficult because of my curved roots. She said an oral surgeon would have charged me $500 to remove that tooth. (Dr. Jay charged me $150.) She said not to worry though, because she is really good at extracting teeth. She told me that people have told her that she should write a book about extracting teeth.

Before she started to pull the tooth, Dr. Jay wanted to confirm that it was entirely numb. She started poking around in my mouth. I felt some pressure, but then I felt what would have quickly turned into pain had she poked harder. I raised my left hand. She stopped what she was doing and said she would give me more numbing medication.

My eyes were closed, and even if they had been open, I wouldn’t have been able to see where the dentist put the needle. From the way it felt, I imagined that Dr. Jay had jabbed the needle deep into my jaw. It hurt! It hurt! It Hurt! IT HURT! IT MOTHER FUCKING HURT! I screamed a wordless scream! Dr. Jay said (in her East Indian accent), Please do not scream. I quit screaming, but it hurt so bad.

After I’d quit yelling, Dr. Jay told me, We dentists have a saying. If you scream, we must charge you twice. Once for you and once for the patient that leaves.

I went from yelling to laughing. And I apologized for screaming.

While we were waiting to make sure that the medication had kicked in, Dr. Jay explained to me that the roots of the tooth were very infected. (Dr. Endo had told me the same thing, so I knew it was true.) She said that the infection is acidic, but the medication is a base. So the first round of the medication that hits the infection is neutralized. Although putting the medication right into the infection REALLY hurt, Dr. Jay made sure I wasn’t going to feel anything during the procedure. Thank you, Dr. Jay.

Dr. Jay had me open my mouth again. I made my own decision to close my eyes.

She told me I’d feel a lot of pressure because of the curved roots. I felt her working in my mouth, and I did feel a lot of pressure, but no pain. In just a few moments, she was no longer working in my mouth, and I said, Is that it? Are you done?

She was almost done. She’d pulled the tooth. The tooth was out. She still had to get some of the roots out of my jaw. She took care of them pretty quick. You are good, I told her, but she already knew it.

The nurse put a gauze pad over my tooth hole, and told me to bite down. Dr. Jay showed me the tooth, complete with curved roots, one of which was swollen with infection. Gross!

I was handed prescriptions for antibiotics (got to get rid of that infection) and painkillers (Tylenol with codeine, which I did not get filled) and instructions for aftercare.

I took a nap that afternoon, and ate mostly pudding and ice cream until the evening when The Lady made biscuits and I ate the very soft middles with honey. I took my medicine and let my body heal.