Before You Accuse Me


Before you accuse me,

take a look at yourself

  — Bo Diddley



The rural campground where I stayed.

I’d been staying almost a week on my friend’s prepaid spot in a rural  campground. It was a peaceful place with huge sites, nothing like the RV parking lots I’ve seen across the U.S. No one parked near me until the seventh night, when I returned to my van home after a cook-out to find a Class C on my cut-across route to the bath house. No big deal. I altered my path and didn’t think much about it.

It was a warm night, and before crawling into bed, I set up my small, battery operated fan in the back window. I drifted to sleep with a cool breeze blowing on my face.

I woke a little before 4am, needing to pee. The entire groggy time I dealt with that situation, I could hear a mechanical sound, a sort of distant humming.

What is that noise? I asked myself. It must be those new people! It must be their generator! Those idiots are running their generator in the middle of the night. They can’t do that! Don’t they know they can’t do that? Don’t they know this is quiet time? They can’t run a generator during quiet hours. Who thinks it’s ok to run a generator in the middle of the night?

As I woke up more fully, I wondered if I were really hearing a generator. What else might the noise be?

I got back in bed and put my ear close to the window, trying to better hear the noise so I could discern what was making it. When I put my ear next to the window, I found my ear next to the fan I had forgotten about and the whir of its motor. Oh. I hadn’t been hearing a loud generator in the distance. I’d been hearing the soft hum of my own fan up close.

I went back to sleep, feeling like an idiot.

The view from my campsite.

The view from my campsite.

I took the photos in this post.


About Blaize Sun

My name is Blaize Sun. Maybe that's the name my family gave me; maybe it's not. In any case, that's the name I'm using here and now. I've been a rubber tramp for nearly a decade.I like to see places I've never seen before, and I like to visit the places I love again and again. For most of my years on the road, my primary residence was my van. For almost half of the time I was a van dweller, I was going it alone. Now I have a little travel trailer parked in a small RV park in a small desert town. I also have a minivan to travel in. When it gets too hot for me in my desert, I get in my minivan and move up in elevation to find cooler temperatures or I house sit in town in a place with air conditioning I was a work camper in a remote National Forest recreation area on a mountain for four seasons. I was a camp host and parking lot attendant for two seasons and wrote a book about my experiences called Confessions of a Work Camper: Tales from the Woods. During the last two seasons as a work camper on that mountain, I was a clerk in a campground store. I'm also a house and pet sitter, and I pick up odd jobs when I can. I'm primarily a writer, but I also create beautiful little collages; hand make hemp jewelry and warm, colorful winter hats; and use my creative and artistic skills to decorate my life and brighten the lives of others. My goal (for my writing and my life) is to be real. I don't like fake, and I don't want to share fake. I want to share my authentic thoughts and feelings. I want to give others space and permission to share their authentic selves. Sometimes I think the best way to support others is to leave them alone and allow them to be. I am more than just a rubber tramp artist. I'm fat. I'm funny. I'm flawed. I try to be kind. I'm often grouchy. I am awed by the stars in the dark desert night. I hope my writing moves people. If my writing makes someone laugh or cry or feel angry or happy or troubled or comforted, I have done my job. If my writing makes someone think and question and try a little harder, I've done my job. If my writing opens a door for someone, changes a life, I have done my job well. I hope you enjoy my blog posts, my word and pictures, the work I've done to express myself in a way others will understand. I hope you appreciate the time and energy I put into each post. I hope you will click the like button each time you like what you have read. I hope you will share posts with the people in your life. I hope you'll leave a comment and share your authentic self with me and this blog's other readers. Thank you for reading.  A writer without readers is very sad indeed.

8 Responses »

    • My dad would say, open mouth, insert foot. I’m glad I didn’t do anything embarrassing, like start yelling out into the night.

      Thanks for reading and leaving a comment, daniaflorida.

  1. That is funny and sounds like the same reaction I would have in that given circumstance! lol…that campground sounds interesting. Large spaces are always nice. I camped in my van up at Goblin State Park in Utah. It had some nice spots but I felt a real sense of a “presence” there while I was trying to sleep. Like “Goblins” were trying to peak into my dark tinted windows. It was an eerie and uncomfortable feeling…as soon as day light broke I felt much better although I was quite sleepy for the entire rest of the new day. I don’t mind a presence if it is welcoming and warm but this felt more like devious and crafty in an uncomfortable way. I would recommend this unique area but only during daylight hours. Have you been up that way? Curious to hear your thoughts if you had and if you had any similar encounters.

    • Thanks for telling me about Goblin State Park in Utah. No, I haven’t been out that way. I spend a brief time in Utah many years ago, but this is the first time I’ve heard of Goblin State Park. It sounds interesting and creepy. I don’t like negative presences freaking me out enough to keep me awake. I’ll probably steer clear of that place, unless I’m with a friend.

  2. loll, thanks for the good laugh, it remember me a similar situation of my past, yes, we must always check ourself before accusing others.

    Your french canadian friend, Nancy 😉

      • Thanks to you, your blog is very helpful and inspiring, I aspire to get on the road in my van soon, i really appreciate your insights and adventures 🙂

        • Thanks for this very sweet comment, Nancy. I’m glad my blog is helping and inspiring you. Let me know if you have any questions about van dwelling as you prepare for the road.

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